


Wanted

by NCISVILLE



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/M, Inspired by Hunter Hayes' song Wanted, My twist of the last three episodes, whouffaldi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-24
Updated: 2016-01-24
Packaged: 2018-05-15 20:36:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,626
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5799094
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NCISVILLE/pseuds/NCISVILLE
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's always been them together, The Doctor & Clara but this time they aren't holding back how they feel, they're finally going to tell each other and live happily ever after.<br/>Set over the course of Face the Raven, Heaven Sent, & Hell Bent but with some twists in the story. Inspired by the song Wanted from Hunter Hayes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wanted

**Author's Note:**

> So this is my first fic for Doctor Who and I hope you all like it.

**Wanted**

_You know I’d fall apart without you_

_I don’t know how you do what you do_

“My Clara.” He whispers, lips touching the skin of her hand, tears trying to break past his steely resolve.

“Goodbye Doctor.” She whispers in return. She wrenches her hand from his and makes her way to the door to face the raven. As soon as her hand is gone from his he feels himself begin to break. But he can’t let her die alone, as much as it is killing him inside, he needs to be with her in her final moments even if she wants to brave the consequences and do it alone. That was never how they’d done anything though, it’d always been together and that’s how it would stay. He follows after her, and with each step his feet feel heavier and more like drying cement until finally he can move no more and is glued to the spot right outside the door. He watches, watches as the raven penetrates her body, hears her agonized cry, watches as her life force and the very soul he’s fallen in love with get taken from her. He watches her body begin to crumple to the floor and that’s when his legs finally thaw and he runs, runs to catch her before her body hits the ground. He catches her in the last second before gravity pulls her below and kneels on the ground with her in his arms. She meets his eyes for a brief second and he can see it, see the words she wants to tell him but declared too late.

“I love you Clara Oswald, my impossible girl.” He chokes out as he strokes her hair. Clara’s eyes close and he leans down to kiss her forehead. The Doctor strokes her hair again and picks her up carefully in his arms before standing back up to place her inside off the street, and face Ashildr and whatever fate awaits him. His Clara deserves more than to be left out on the street. He will find a way to bring her back, of this much he is sure, but he doesn’t know how long he’ll have to be without her. Wherever he is being sent…he’ll have to live without Clara and that will be when he starts to fall apart. He doesn’t quite know how Clara had managed to work her way into every part of his being but knows he doesn’t know so much as how to breathe without her by his side. He feels so utterly numb right now, how is he supposed to get through the next moment without her? Without her smile, without her teasing, without her laugh, how will he manage to breathe without feeling dead inside?

He walks into the infirmary again and looks to Ashildr for a brief second before looking to Rigsy. He has to be strong right now, nobody but Clara is allowed to see him fall apart and she’s no longer alive.

“Not yet! Don’t send me yet!” He says to Ashildr before quickly turning to face Rigsy. “Local Knowledge. Rigsy. Can I call you Rigsy now?” Rigsy just nods, too stricken with emotion to be able to speak. “You’ll take care of her, won’t you? Take care of her?” He asks, almost to the point where it seems like begging. When Rigsy nods his affirmation, The Doctor continues speaking. “You’ll tell her family, her school. You’ll remember her- you’ll-” He stops mid-sentence turning to Ashildr now, his gaze hardened. “You will not Retcon him again. Damn your rules. She died for him and he will want to remember that debt until his very last breath.”

“Please? No one will hear about the street, I promise.” Rigsy pleads. Ashildr remains silent, looking as though she’s waging an internal war inside. 

“ASHILDR! You owe Clara, and you owe me. You owe me this much.” He practically growls menacingly.

Ashildr is pinned by his fury and his grief ridden glare. Finally, she nods. The Doctor looks relieved and you can almost see the relief in his shoulders. Ashildr presses one last thing on the chamber’s screen, and The Doctor’s cuff starts to make an eerie, wailing sound. He knows this is it. His final moment before he leaves this world.

“I’m sorry, Doctor. I truly am.” Ashildr tries to tell him but his face is hardened to her words.

“What Clara said - about not taking revenge. Do you know why she said that?” He asks coolly.

“She was saving you.” Ashildr says softly.

“I was lost a long time ago. She was saving you.” He corrects. He looks at her - and those eyes are burning. No forgiveness, no understanding. The scariest man in the universe is staring at her - and oh God, she feels it. “I’ll do my best. But I’d advise you, very strongly, to stay out of my way. You’ll find it’s a very small universe when I’m angry with you.” His voice holds rage and fury that is barely being contained by a calm demeanor. The teleport begins. The Doctor's cuff hand vanishes first. The rest of his body swiftly follows suit, fading to nothing.

                                           XxxxXXxxxWantedxxxXXxxxX 

_‘Cause everything that don’t make sense about me_

_Makes sense when I’m with you._

_Like everything that’s green girl, I need you_

He’s tired, so very tired, and he just wants to give in. What’s the point in running anymore when she’s not there running beside him, holding his hand, laughing at their situation? He’s been running from this creature for days and his resolve is breaking. He’s finally falling apart now that she’s gone. He’s in his storm room again, after seeing the Azbantium wall. It’s 400 times harder than diamond and 20 feet thick. There’s no way to win, no way to get out, to bring Clara back.

“Oh, Clara. I can’t keep doing this. I can’t. Why’s it always me? Why is it never anybody else’s turn?” He looks up at her written question and reads it again, as her back is to him.

_How are you going to **win**?_

“Can’t I just lose? Just this once? It would be so easy. Just tell them. Just tell whoever wants to know, all about the Hybrid.” He opens his eyes and he’s back in his personal hell, sitting despairingly against the wall, dull and tearful eyes staring blankly ahead. He closes his eyes again and once more he’s back in his Tardis. “I can’t keep doing this. I can’t always do this, it’s not fair! Just this once, can’t I give in? Can’t I _lose_?” The words on the chalkboard change now to just a single word, an answer to his last question.

**No.**

He stares hopelessly at her response, disappointed that he can’t just give up. “But I can remember, Clara. You don’t understand, I can remember it all. Every time!” Still the word remains. “And you’re still gone. Whatever I do, you still won’t be here.” He chokes on the last word, the admission breaking his hearts and ripping them from his chest. 

“Doctor.”

He startles at her voice. It’s impossible, he can’t be seeing her, hearing her but he is. She always was his impossible girl, why would death be any different?

“Stop it. Just stop.” She demands him and all he can do is stare. “You’re not the only person who ever lost someone. It’s the story of everybody. Get over it. Beat it. Break free.” She puts her hand on his cheek and suddenly he’s filled with life again. His hearts are beating with life and all his suffering is put back into perspective, is given purpose again and he understands. Everything always makes sense when she touches him. It gives him clarity and fills him with renewed vigor. He needs her more than he needs oxygen, more than he needs anything. She’s all he’s ever needed and now here she is talking to him, and touching him in the most intimate way they ever had. It was their way of communicating their love for one another when their words failed, when they were too scared to speak those words into existence.

 

_Cause I wanna wrap you up_

_Wanna kiss your lips_

_I wanna make you feel wanted_

 

“Doctor, it’s time. Get up off your arse ... and win!” She commands, looking deep into his eyes, a knowing smile on her face. It’s those eyes that fill him with strength, the gentle but firm hand on his cheek, cupping his face. It’s what gives him the courage to do what he should have done before she died in the first place. He pulls her to him, holds her face in his hands and leans in until their lips are touching. It’s brief and soft but it’s everything he’s ever wanted and the one thing he needs most in this moment before he leaves to fight for her, for them. He’s the one who breaks it, knowing he doesn’t have much time left with her but oh how he wants her. Wants to just stay right there in that moment forever, holding her, kissing her, showing her how much he loves her, how much he cares, how much he wants her, but he knows what he has to do to make it a reality.

“Now go.” She whispers, a content smile on her face. “Go win you clever boy.” He smiles at that and nods. She kisses him quickly and then pushes him away and he finds himself sitting against the wall. He jumps up feeling renewed and filled with purpose. He has his orders and he knows what he has to do. He’s going to get her back.

                                        XxxxXXxxxWantedxxxXXxxxX 

_And I wanna call you mine_

_Wanna hold your hand forever_

_And never let you forget it_

_Yeah, I, I wanna make you feel wanted_

Finally, finally he’s arrived. It’s been four and half billion years but he finally is here and can save her. Can finally live again, can finally breathe. He can see her now, in her final moment. She’d been so brave but now she doesn’t have to be anymore. Clara Oswald will not die.

“Clara!” He calls out, leaning towards her.

“Doctor?” She asks perplexed. But he was standing behind her, wasn’t he? She turns around and sees him frozen, watching her with such grief on his face but here he is, looking desperate as he outstretches his hand to her, blinding white light surrounding him.

“Come with me. I can save you.” Slowly she moves towards him as if she’s in a dream and he looks so anxious until she finally takes his hand and then he pulls her into the white room. As Clara enters the light, suddenly there is the sound of mighty technology blasting away. The light is blinding her; she can hardly see. Behind her a door-sized rectangle still gives on to Trap Street, frozen in the moment. The rectangle seems to be hanging in the air. Clara is dazed, disorientated, and looking around trying to make sense of everything. Clara is staring at the Doctor, who’s standing right in front of her, oblivious to her confusion.

“Doctor?”

“Yeah?” He asks, still not having let go of her hand.

“Where am I?”

“It’s a long story but basically…my place.” He explains with a shrug.

“I was...I was going to die, I should be dead-” Clara stutters trying to figure things out aloud. 

“Forget about that. Doesn’t matter.” He says brusquely, brushing it aside.

“Hang on... your place?” She asks for clarification, her brain catching up.

“Yeah.” He says simply. 

“...what do you mean, your place?”

“My place.”

“...you don’t mean...”

“Yeah.”

“…Gallifrey?”

“Gallifrey.”

“Hang on, did I miss something?” Clara asks now utterly confused as to how they are standing on Gallifrey.

“Well we’re several billion years in the future, and the universe is pretty much over, so yeah, quite a lot.” She stares wide-eyed at him trying to take everything in.

She misses the conversation that happens with a funny looking man until she notices something wrong. There’s something so very wrong with her but she can’t pinpoint it. Her ears are trying to tell her something but she can’t comprehend it. _What’s missing?_ She thinks, urging her brain to piece the puzzle togehter.

“Hey, what’s wrong with my ears?” She finally inquires aloud.

“Nothing.” The Doctor dismisses almost too quickly to be innocent. He knows something.

“But...that’s weird, everything sounds wrong...” She continues, thinking aloud, trying to answer her own question 

.“It’s a side-effect. 

“I "can hear you fine, but it’s like there’s something...I don’t know, missing. What is that?”

“It’s nothing.” He dismisses again. But she knows, knows him too well, knows that something about this is wrong and he’s trying to ignore it, ignore her so she doesn’t find out.

“Doctor, you have to tell her. We always tell them.” The general pleads.

“Tell me what? What’s he talking about Doctor?” She’s scared now, there’s something wrong with her, she can feel it. Of course he’d try to ignore it, he always refuses to accept a reality where she’s hurt. He put his hands on her shoulders and the look he gives her serves to worry her further. His gaze is so tender, soft, and... he’s afraid.

“Clara...there’s a sound you’ve been living with every day of your life - but you’ve learned not to hear it...” He trails off as though he’s given her enough of a clue for her to figure it out on her own.

“What sound?” She asks but he looks so pained when she asks, as if he can’t bear to speak what’s wrong with her aloud. “What’s wrong? Just tell me.” She wants answers, but it almost seems like he’ll break if she makes him say it. She’s never seen him this way before. He grabs her and engulfs her in a hug and whispers into her ear.

“My Clara, always so inquisitive. Please, can you let this go? Just this once?” He pleads in her ear.

“Doctor, tell me.” She whispers back in his ear. “What sound?”

“Your heartbeat.” He replies, his voice breaking off. She can hear the pain in his voice. What does he mean her heart? How can her heart not be beating? She’s talking, she’s walking, breathing. How can her heart not be beating? She puts a hand on her chest, trying to feel her heart beat beneath it like it always does. Nothing. Panic is rising and she hastily goes to check her pulse on her wrist. Nothing. She’s properly terrified now. What’s wrong with her? How is she alive without her heart beating?

“Your physical processes have been time-looped. Frozen between one heartbeat and the next. Even your breathing is just a habit, you don’t need it.” He explains, as if he’d heard the questions in her mind.

“If I’m frozen, how can I be walking about?”

“Because Time Lords are very clever, it doesn’t matter-” He says urging her to just drop it again. He should know better by now. 

 _“It matters to me!”_ She cries, breaking from his hold.

“Doctor, we have to explain. It is our moral duty.” The general says softly, looking at the Doctor’s back.

She’s terrified now. There’s more going on here than just her non-existent heartbeat? What has the Doctor done?

“Doctor?” She asks, giving him the chance to tell her himself but he averts his eyes, and she can see him blinking back tears. What is so wrong that it’s brought him to tears?

The general looks her way and his demeanor is formal, eyes kind, but what else is there? Pity?

“Although you are currently conscious and aware, in fact you died billions of years ago, and the universe you knew is long gone.”

The Doctor’s hand slips back into hers but she’s not sure if it’s to comfort her or him. “Doctor?” He still isn’t looking at her. She just wants to see him, see those eyes.

“We have extracted you at the very end of your time stream to request your help. Whatever you decide, once we’re finished here, you will be returned to your final moments. Your death is an established historical event and cannot be altered. I’m sorry.”

“ _Doctor, talk to me!”_ She begs, trying to tell herself that the general is lying. Finally he looks at her and the best word to describe the look he gives her is devastation. It’s true. She’d really died and he’d watched. That was the ever present look in his eyes, the thing that had seemed so off against him. His heart was broken. He keeps his hand tightly in hers but with the other one he cups her face oh so softly and strokes it with his thumb. It brushes over her lips and she watched his eyes flit to her lips, it seems as though he’s remembering something. She wonders what it’d be like, kissing the Doctor, and for a moment she thinks he’s going to.

Instead he meets her eyes again and says, “I’ll try not to break your jaw.”

“…my jaw?” She asks utterly confused.

“I wasn’t talking to you.” He explains quickly. In the next moment his hands are ripped from her and he lands a solid punch on the general’s jaw. In the same motion the Doctor snatches the gun from the falling General and levels it at him.

Clara is too shocked to register what is being said between the Doctor and general. She’s never seen this side of him, so stricken with grief and desperation that he’s breaking every rule of his he’s ever made. His love for her has pushed him past the breaking point and she can’t believe he’s holding a gun on someone, one of his own people. Ever so slowly she walks up and reaches for the hand by his side, wraps her fingers around his own and then she’s finally hearing what’s being said between them.

“If you fire, it’s fatal.”

“He won’t. He would never do that.” She says more to convince herself.

“You think you know him. But I’ve seen him fight. Haven’t I, Doctor?" 

“I will not let Clara die.” His voice is full of steel and she hears that unbreakable resolve in him. “Not again.”

“She’s been dead for half the lifetime of the universe. If you attempt to change that, you could fracture time itself. Doctor...Lord President...are you really going to take that risk?”

Clara knows him, she knows this isn’t him. She wonders how long he’s been without her that he would be this grief stricken. She’s never seen him so desperate.

“Doctor...stop this. I don’t want this, put that thing down.” She pleads squeezing his hand tightly. He doesn’t listen. Of course he doesn’t. So she pulls his face down. “Look at me. This isn’t you. Please, Doctor.” She looks deep into those sad eyes and gives him a small smile.

“I can’t lose you again. I’m not...not strong enough.” He breaks off at the end, his voice cracking, head drooping to the floor.

“Yes you are.” She whispers letting go of his hand and fisting his lapels. She pushes herself up onto her tip toes and crushes her lips to his in a passionate embrace. He caresses her face with one hand and tilts her head back trying to kiss her deeper. She moves a hand to his hair and runs her fingers through those soft, curly grey locks of his. She forgets momentarily where they are, that there are people around them; she just knows in this moment that she is his forever and he is hers. They’re hungrily kissing each other as though this is all they will ever have but Clara knows that there is still unfinished business around them and so she breaks their kiss, and she sees the dazed look on his face. She bites her lip and smiles at him, seeing the universe in his eyes. He brushes the fallen hair out of her face and smiles down at her.

“My Clara.” He whispers admiring her. “Forgive me.” He turns around and raises the gun back up pointing it at the general. “Regeneration?”

“Tenth.”

“Goodluck.” He says quickly. 

“And to you Sir.” The Doctor fires and it hits the general straight in the chest. Clara can’t believe her eyes as she watches the Doctor kill a man, for her no less, because of her. 

“Come on, now, _run._ ” He says grabbing her hand and pulling her along.

The Doctor and Clara are racing along - alarms sounding behind them. The Doctor slams a panel on the wall, lift doors whoosh open - but as he tries to pull her inside, she’s fighting back, so horrified at what he’s just done.

“You killed that man - you shot him, he’s dead.” She says, trying to come to grips with what he’s just done. What’s happened to him since she’s been gone?

“It was him or you.”

“I don’t care.”

“The difference is when you die, you stay dead.”

“So does he.”

“We’re on _Gallifrey_.” He emphasizes pulling her again. “Missed both his hearts and his brain stem - he’ll be up and about in no time.”

“Is that what you’re telling yourself?” She asks disappointed in him. 

“It’s what’s true. Death is Time Lord for man-flu.”

“It’s not funny!”

“It’s a little bit funny.” He says with a small grin.

 “You are better than this!” She yells at him, desperately wanting to know what happened to him. 

“That was a long time ago.”

“Was it? How long?”

“Never mind, this way.” He dismisses her and she knows he won’t answer so she decides to change the topic and try and get more information about their situation.

“I thought you froze Gallifrey, in another dimension?”

“Well they must have unfrozen and come back. 

“How?”

“I didn’t ask, it would make them feel clever. The Cloister Wraiths - Sliders, we used to call them. Don’t worry, they’ll leave us alone, we’re safe in here.” He says to her looking around, eyes wild.

“Why?” She asked, trying to keep him busy, keep him talking.

“They only attack if you make any attempt to leave.”  

“How long are we planning to stay?”

“Or, actually, if you try to stay.” He added looking grim for a moment but then just as quickly it was gone. “This way, I’m fairly sure. According to the stories, there’s a secret way out ... if you find it, the Sliders let you go.” He explained dragging her with him. 

They’re wandering through when they run into a Dalek and it’s her first instinct to run, but the Doctor stops her and makes her pay attention. It’s almost sad, what they’re doing to this Dalek and she has to remind herself that no Dalek is innocent. They go further and she loses track of the Doctor for just a moment but that’s all it takes to run into statues that move closer every time she turns away. The Weeping Angels are following her and she’s trying to run but every turn they’re there and then out of nowhere comes a Cyberman and she sends out a plea for help and then he’s there as though he heard her cry.

“Keep away from them. All of them!” His hand is back in hers and she suddenly feels safe again as he tugs her out of the Weeping Angel’s hold. He dashes towards the symbols on the floor and goes onto his hands and knees doing something clever she assumes. Clara kneels beside him and they’re close again, as close as they were when they kissed. It feels just as intimate and Clara moves closer, putting a hand on his knee. That’s when he launches into another story and she can’t help but smile. He’s so full of stories.

“Long time ago, there was a student at the Academy - only person to survive the cloisters. He got in here, disappeared for four days and then showed up in a completely different part of the city. Said the Sliders talked to him, showed him the secret passage out.”

“What, and this kid told you the secret?” She asked incredulous, but suspecting.

“He didn’t tell anyone anything. Went completely mad, never right in the head again. So they say.” He said looking up from his work momentarily. Her hand on his knee had not gone un-noticed and he loved the reassuring touch.

“Okay, so that’s encouraging.”

“Last I heard, he stole the moon and the President’s wife.” He carries on working but those words land in Clara, hard. She stares at him. It was him. It was him. She tries to suppress a smile but it’s a failed effort, he doesn’t notice though.

“Was she nice - the President’s wife?" 

“Yeah, well that was a lie put about by the Shabogans - it was the President’s daughter. And I didn’t steal the moon, I lost it-” He breaks off mid-sentence and looks at her, realizing that she knew and that she’d baited him.

She laughs a little, not trying to hide her smile anymore. “I’d know you anywhere.”

He meets her eyes for just a moment and she catches a glimpse of something he’d kept hidden. “I was a completely different person back then - eccentric, bit mad, rude to people…” He trailed off leaving his thought unfinished.

 “Look at me again.” She says curiously.

 “Sorry, what?”

“In the eye, look at me - just do it.” She commands. He does and she finally sees it, what he’s tried to keep hidden from her.

“What? What is it, what?” He asks curious.

“...how long has it been - for you - since you last saw me?” She asks rubbing circles on his knee.

“I’m not sure.” He says all too quickly. She knows he knows and she knows that it’s been an impossibly long time for him. She can see that now.

“How long?” She asks again, voice a little harder, more demanding.

“I was stuck. In a place. They were...” He says telling her only a piece of the story.

“They were what? Who are we talking about?”

“They wanted something from me. Information - it doesn’t matter.” He keeps saying that, trying to just ignore everything else besides her. She studies him as he continues to work.

“What happened to your coat? Your velvety coat - I like that one, it was very Doctory.” She asks him with a slight disappointed quirk of her lips.

“Yeah, changed it.” He says brushing it off as though it doesn’t really matter.

“Why?”

“Can’t always be the Doctor. I think I’m nearly through, I think I’ve got it...”He says trying to change the subject, glancing up at her for just a quick second before looking back down. She’s still studying him.

“Tell me what they did to you...What happened to the Doctor?” She asks sadly. The Doctor looks up at her and she’s never seen a more haunted look in his eye and it both angers and saddens her. Whatever they’ve done to him has left him with so many emotional scars and it makes her angry that they would do something so horrible to him and it saddens her that he had to go through it alone. 

“My confession dial…”

“The one Missy had, yeah?”

“Well…I finally figured out how exactly they work.” He said, attempting to be humorous.

“They sent you into your confession dial?!”

“Turns out it’s comprised of all your worst nightmares and all the time the dead old hag is following you around, coming to kill you, and the only way to survive is to confess something. But I’m clever and I figured out a way to escape and how to revive myself each time I died. It’s your own personal torture chamber and they sent me in there for information. They wanted to know about the Hybrid.” He tells her re-counting his experience.

Sensing the movement behind her, Clara turns. Her face is tear-streaked, she’s shocked beyond words - and so grim. “Stay back - all of you!” She yells at them, so very angry.

“I’m sorry, but we have to find a way to extract you from-”

“I said, _stay back!_ ” She yells at them again, more fury in her voice. She turns back to the Doctor and places a hand on his face. “Okay. The Hybrid - what is it? What’s so important, you would fight so long?” He shakes his head as though she’s asked the wrong question.

“It doesn’t matter what the Hybrid is. It only mattered that I convinced them that I knew. Otherwise, they’d have kicked me out and I’d have nothing left to bargain with.”

She’s so confused now. “What were you bargaining for?” She asks, eyebrows furrowed, trying to understand.

The Doctor blinks and looks at her surprised, as if she should know the answer to her own question. “What do you think? You. I had to find a way of saving you.” She stares at him. Awe-struck. This was all about her? He’d gone through all that pain for her, revived himself how many times to escape just for her? “I knew it had to be the Time Lords. They cost you your life on Trap Street, Clara - and I was going to make them bring you back. All I had to do was hang in there for a bit.” 

“How long?” She asks again, eyes brimming with fresh tears. Her heart iss breaking. This man had endured torture for so long just for her.

“Oh it was fine.” He dismisses with a wave of his hand. Why won’t he tell her?

She knows she won’t get an answer from him so she goes to the next best source of information. “One question. And you will answer. How long was the Doctor trapped inside the confession dial?” She manages to keep her anger in check and a calm fury is present in her voice. 

The older woman in robes answers her first. “We think ... four and a half billion years.” She says disinterested. Clara is unable to speak, trying to wrap her head around that. Instead another woman offers more.

“He could’ve left any time he wanted. He just had to say what he knew; the dial would have released him.”

Finally she turns back to the Doctor, tears now freely streaming down her face. “Four and a half billion years..." 

“If she says so.” He responds as he works, only glancing up at her for one second.

She kneels down beside him and shoves his shoulders. “Why would you even do that? I was dead already! I was dead and gone, Doctor, and you were in hell. Why would you do that to yourself?” She’s all out crying now, so distressed that her Doctor, the man she loved more than anyone had tortured himself for four and a half billion years just to see her again. When she looks at him he seems faintly perplexed - a frown of almost childish puzzlement. Like he doesn’t understand why she would ask that question.

“I had a duty of care.” He breathes out just above a whisper. That’s the moment that truly shatters her heart, almost exhausts her and all she can do is stare at him. He then looks away from her and goes right back to working.

 

 _Anyone can tell you you're pretty, yeah_  
And you get that all the time, I know you do  
But your beauty's deeper than the make-up  
And I wanna show you what I see tonight...  
  
When I wrap you up  
When I kiss your lips.  
I wanna make you feel wanted  
And I wanna call you mine  
Wanna hold your hand forever  
And never let you forget it  
'Cause, baby, I, I wanna make you feel wanted

 

“Right, I’m nearly through - I’m pretty sure there’s a service duct under here, we can get to the old workshops. They’ll have tardises there-”

 “Listen to me. I’ve got something to say-”

 “We don’t have time!” He urges.

 “My time is up, Doctor. Between one heartbeat and the last, is all the time I have. People like you and me, there are things we should say to each other. And I’m going to say them now.” She says grabbing his face in both her hands and forcing him to look her clear in the eye. She’s finally going to say those long overdue words. “You waited four and half billion years for me, tortured yourself for so long, and all for a chance to see me again. I should have told you this before I died the first time.”

 “I already know Clara.” He says with a soft smile.

 “Shut up! I’m not finished.” She admonishes him. “I need to say this Doctor. I…I love you. Been in love with you for so long and been such a daft idiot not taking the chance when life is so short.”

 “Because it was always easier that way.” He says with a half laugh. She opens her mouth to speak but he silences her with a finger to her lips. “It’s my turn Clara.” He cups her face in his hands too and once again his thumb is brushing over her lips and he’s looking back and forth between her eyes and her lips. “I love you too Clara Oswald, my impossible girl. You’ve sacrificed so much for me so willingly, never asking for something in return but now I’m asking for you to ask me for something.”

 “What?” She asks breathlessly.

 “Me. Please, ask me to keep us together. Because I can’t live without you Clara. I need you by my side. You’re my light, my universe. I tried to do what you asked me but I failed. I can’t be who you want me to be without you beside me. Each cycle I was in that torture chamber I had a point where I gave up, where I pleaded with you to just let me give up but you held my face like you’re doing now, and you told me to get up off my arse and win and you kissed me and you gave me a reason to keep going. A reason to escape. I need you by my side Clara Oswald, so please ask me to stay.” Clara was crying as he spoke, her heart shattered in millions of pieces as she finally understands why he tortured himself for so long. It was his love for her that kept him holding on. A love so strong he went to the end of the universe to save it, broke his own rules because he couldn’t be a Doctor without her.

 “Stay with me Doctor, never leave, please.” She pleads, giving him those big sad eyes. He smiles and leans his forehead against hers, his own eyes now dropping tears. “Kiss me.” She whispers.

 His hand moves to behind her neck and pulls her face up to his, his lips capturing her own. It was a lot like their first kiss, passionate and hungry, desire in each. They held each other close and Clara moved so she was sitting in the Doctor’s lap, a hand on his cheek as the other got lost in his hair again. He keeps his hand on the back of her neck and the other on her waist. They loose themselves in the other, feeling the intensity of the love they hold for one another. She bites his lip and smiles as he stares at her, eyes wide.

 “I may be a Time Lord, Clara, but that does not make me immune to lust.” He growls softly.

 “Get us out of here and I’ll show you how that goes both ways.” She promises, a mischievous glint in her eye, pecking his lips.

 “How am I supposed to do that when they’re watching us?” He asks.

 “You’re a clever boy, I’m sure you’ll figure it out.” She teases, kissing him again. She could certainly get used to this.

 “It seems you already have something in mind.”

 “I’m going to talk to them.”

 “How is that going to help?” He asks with a frown.

 “Don’t worry Doctor, they’ll all be looking at me while you work. Trust me.”

 “With my life.” He says without hesitation.

 “Good, then it’s settled. You’ll get out of here, get a Tardis and whisk us away to pick up your old one.” She moves to get up but the Doctor pulls her back down into his lap. “What?” She asks, wondering what’s wrong.

 He almost looks embarrassed but says, “I um…wanted to kiss you again, if that’s okay.”

 “Doctor, you don’t have to ask to kiss me. But, yes, it’s okay.” She answers with a smile. That in turn makes him smile and he quickly kisses her again but makes it soft. “Mmm, I’ll never tire of that. Now, let’s go old man, you owe me a trip in a new Tardis.” She taps him on the shoulder and grins getting up off of him. She walks a ways away from him and makes sure all eyes are on her before she begins. “You are monsters. Here you are - hiding away at the end of time. Do you even know why? Because you are _hated_. You are hated. By everybody. And by nobody more than _me_.”

 “What did you say to him?”

 “Nothing I’m sharing with you, or anyone else. Ever. Except, maybe this part. I said ‘Don’t worry - they’ll all be looking at me’!” She is practically grinning at the end of her little distraction. She watches as they all turn their eyes to where the Doctor was and in his place is an open door. Fear comes across their faces.

 “Where is he? You need to tell us, what is the Doctor going to do now?”

 Clara tries to bite back a laugh. Are they really so thick? “Oh, you really are thick, aren’t you? He’s back on Gallifrey - took him four and half billion years to get here - what do you think he’s gonna do now?” A wind is whipping up around her. The grinding engines of a Tardis are filling their eardrums and she feels so happy. “He’s stealing a Tardis and running away.” She grins as the Tardis begins materializing around her. “Bye.” She says cheerily, waving goodbye. “You were quick.” She says impressed with his timing, taking a look around.

 “Time machine - I backed up a bit.” He explains walking up over to her with a proud smile and wrapping an arm around her waist, drawing her into a world-shattering kiss. They hear a voice from outside break their little bubble.

 “Doctor! Doctor, face me! Do you hear me? Get out of that Tardis and face me, boy!”

 “Boy?” Clara asks amused, arms wrapped around him. He just rolls his eyes.

 “Give me one minute?”

 “Not a second longer, I have some unfinished business with you.” She releases her hold on him and bops his nose with her finger.

 “Yes ma’am.” He replies with a smile, walking over to the door and popping his head out.

 “You have gone too far. You have broken every code you ever lived by.”

 “After all this time, Ohila, after everything I’ve done - don’t you think the universe owes me this?” He asks, angry with her.

 “Owes you what? All you’re doing is giving her hope.” She replies with a scoff, eyebrows stuck in a disgusted frown.

 “Since when is hope a bad thing?”

 “Hope is a terrible thing - on the scaffold.” She all but growls out. He glares at her and slams the Tardis door in her face immediately going to the console and setting the co-ordinates. He has no desire to stay on Gallifrey for even one second more.

 As the Doctor runs around the console flipping switching and pulling levers she takes the time to observe again and tell him her thoughts. “Basic.”

 “Classic!” He corrects. “Look at the colour scheme.”

 “It’s all white.” She says, eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

 “Genius!” He says with a smile as the Tardis lurches. They cling onto the console and it feels just like old times.

 “Check your heartbeat - I think you’ll find you have one now.”

 “Yeah?” She asks a bit excited and hopeful.

 “It would’ve restarted when we broke free of Gallifrey’s time zone - you’re alive again. Now we just have to shake off the Time Lords. Only one place we can do that. Then, what do you think, lunch? Followed by breakfast, because we’re time travelers, that’s how we roll. Then cocktails with Moses, and I’m going to invent a flying submarine. Why? Because no one ever has and it’s annoying.” He’s rambling on and she feels pangs of love in her chest because this…this is the man she fell in love with. It doesn’t matter if he is ancient or if he looks older because truth be told, while she had started to fall for him when he wore the face of the dashing young man, she had fallen so much harder, faster with him wearing this new face. She tries checking for her pulse for the third time but fails just like all the other times. There is nothing. “Then we’d better use this TARDIS to find my proper one - I need a clean shirt.” He finally looks at her and she looks up to him and of course he catches the flicker of fear in her eye. They both know each other too well.

 “Doctor...I still don’t have a pulse.”

 “Of course you do, you just haven’t found it, try again.” He dismisses not wanting to accept her words.

 “I know how to take my pulse.” She assures, trying to smile and keep the mood light.

 “Come here, let me show you-”

 “-I know how to take-” Impatiently he grabs her wrist just a bit too roughly and then frowns. “No pulse - right?” He moves to behind Clara and lifts up her hair revealing the countdown still tattooed into her skin with three zeroes. He pops on his sonic glasses, to analyze. “Is it still there? Don’t lie to me.”

 He strides back to the console, airily - but unconvincingly – confident and tosses the sunglasses onto the console. “Let’s fly a bit further, maybe we just need a bit more welly!”

 Clara, now troubled, is watching the Doctor at the console - he’s just a bit too manic for comfort. “They said - your lot - that if you saved me, time would fracture. What does that mean?”

 “They’re exaggerating. History will change a bit, time will heal - it always does.” He says giving a fake smile.

 “Always?” She inquires, now feeling doubtful.

“It’ll sort itself out, and then you’ll have a heartbeat! _Don’t you trust me any more!_ ” The way he asks nearly breaks her heart and scares her at the same time.

“No. Not when you’re shouting.” He realizes now that he’s frightening her and walks slowly over to her and put his hands on each side of her arms and rubs them. 

“Sorry.”

“Where are we going?” She asks.

“Nowhere in space, forward in time. We’re going to the last few hours of the universe. Long past where the Time Lords were hiding - literally, the end. They won’t be able to track us there. We just wait a minute, shake them off, and run like hell. You’ll be safe, I promise.” He holds onto her tightly and then the Tardis jolts and lands. “We won’t have to stay long. Check your pulse again - your time line must have re-started by now.” She does as he says, hopeful but scared. “You see - pulse.” Clara looks at him and shakes her head, unable to speak. “You’re doing it wrong, let me see.” 

“I’m not doing it wrong.” She says again.

 “Okay, it will work, it has to.” He is becoming so very desperate now. He needs her heart to start again. 

“What if one more heartbeat is all I’ve got? What if time isn’t healing, what if the universe needs me to die?” She asks him, tears in her eyes. She doesn’t want to leave him, doesn’t want to die, but maybe she has no choice. 

“The universe is over! It doesn’t have a say any more. We’re standing on the last ember, the last tiny fragment of everything that ever was. As of this moment, I am answerable to _no one_!” He all but screams to the universe. 

A terrible silence follows. Clara is just staring at him unable to believe the words that just came from his mouth. Did he listen to what he just said? His face falls slightly. Yeah, he did listen to that and he’s disappointed in himself too. 

“Doctor, do you hear yourself? Look at who you’re becoming. You’re so desperate for me to live that you’re killing yourself. Maybe this is just how I live now. Without a heart beat, destined to die. But that doesn’t mean I have to go back right now. We can take the long way round and still be together, still have adventures. So what if my heart doesn’t beat again?! So long as I’m here with you, that’s all that matters.” She speaks her tone changing from despair to hope. She raises her hand up and caresses his face, stroking his cheek.

“I’m supposed to save you, to get your heart beating again.” 

“So what Doctor? You already have saved me. You’ve given me something to cherish forever, one last heartbeat; so let me spend the time in between beats with you.”

There’s a minute of silence as he processes and then finally his face is evolving into a smile. “You’re right. You’re always right. My impossible girl.” She feels a rush go through her at him calling her his. It feels so right, so utterly perfect. 

“Let’s get your Tardis first, then we go to lunch and breakfast and maybe afterwards…” She says with a grin, leaning up onto her tip toes to whisper in his ear, “you can show me your bedroom.” He feels  a shiver run through him and it delights her to know she possesses such a power.

He flies from her arms and over to the console taking off again, this time for London, right where his Tardis had been left. She smiles as she watches him and holds onto the console as they lurch backwards in time. When they land, each look at the other with a gleam in their eye. The Doctor holds out his hand and Clara takes it eagerly as they walk to the door and push it open. There, a few feet in front of them is his Tardis. It looks different though, there is a mural painted on it and her face is on one of the panels. 

“Rigsy.” She mutters softly. 

The Doctor looks sideways at her and smiles. “I don’t think it does you justice. You’re more beautiful than what is displayed.” 

“Doctor.” She says, blushing softly. 

He smiles at her and keeps a hold of her hand as they walk out of the new Tardis and into the old. “Right, first things first, I need to change out of this dusty old thing.” He motions to his jacket and takes off to the wardrobe room. “You could do with a change of clothes too.” 

“I’ll try not to be insulted by that.” She chuckles.

“What?” He asks confused as to why she would be insulted. “I just meant I didn’t think you’d want to wear the same clothes you were about to die in.” 

“Oh…well when you put it that way-”

He drags her behind him, keeping a tight hold on her hand. “Doctor, you can let go of my hand. I’m not going to disappear.” 

“Sorry. I just…like holding your hand. Reminds me that you’re here with me and I’m not imagining you.” He confesses sheepishly. 

Clara’s eyes widen in sadness and she holds his hand tighter, intertwining their fingers. “I’m never leaving you again.” She promises, her eyes filled with a steely resolve. 

The Doctor smiles and takes a moment to cup her face and kiss her again. It is quickly becoming Clara’s favorite thing in the universe. It’s such a tender kiss that her knees buckle a little under her. She never thought she’d be one of those girls losing control over their physical faculties because of a guy, but here he was reverting her into nothing more than a school girl head over heels in love. 

“Come on, Lunch and Breakfast await us.” He urges tugging on her hand a little. She follows after him into the wardrobe and finds that velvety coat she likes so very much. She grabs a hoodie at the last second too and thrusts it at him.

“It’s very warm where we’re going.” He says with a raised eyebrow.

“Please?” She asks, biting her lip in anticipation.

“Why?”

“Because I think you look sexy with it on and with the jacket over it you look Doctory and sexy and what better combination could I ask for?” She explains laying a hand on his chest. She feels his hearts beat a little faster and she giggles a little. 

“Does this mean I get to pick out your outfit?” He asks with a glint in his eye.

“Maybe some other time, but not today.” She answers patting his chest. “I’ll meet you back up in the console room for our date in an hour, okay? I need to shower and put on some fresh clothes.” 

“Oh, it’s a date?” He inquires, indicating this is news to him. 

“Of course Doctor. How else am I supposed to justify getting you into bed afterwards?” She asks playfully, winking at him before disappearing amongst all the clothes. She can see the way his Adams apple bobs and she grins, proud of herself and the effect her words have on him.

                                                                                                            XxxxXXxxxWantedxxxXXxxxX

 _As good as you make me feel_  
I wanna make you feel better  
Better than your fairy tales  
Better than your best dreams  
You're more than everything I need  
You're all I ever wanted  
All I ever wanted

He is nervous, oh so nervous. How is he supposed to act on a date again? He hasn’t done this in billions of years, he isn’t even sure he knows how to be romantic anymore. The Doctor is running around trying to find out all he can about first dates and what was expected. He needs help and the Tardis isn’t being too helpful in this moment. “Come on, please! Just look up the Earth rules for dating! You don’t want me to fail miserably at this do you? You know how much I care about her.” The ship seems to wheeze in laughter and refuses to give him anything. “What’s the point in having you if you’re not going to be helpful?!” He cries out in frustration, putting his face in his hands.

“What’s gone wrong now?” A voice says from behind him.

“She won’t show me the rul-” He begins as he turns around, the words disappearing from his mouth as he sees her. He’s seen her dressed up before and thought she always looked beautiful, but the way she looks now is leaving him speechless and his hearts are pounding against his chest.

“Won’t show you what?” She asks with a little laugh, seeing him stand there with mouth open, but no words tumbling from it. She peers behind him on the monitor and sees what he’s typed into the search engine.

“Rules for a first date?” She asks with an eyebrow quirked. “Doctor, you don’t need rules to know what to do. It’ll come naturally okay. Just be yourself. That quirky, clever, infuriating, and quick old man I feel in love with and you’ll be fine okay?” He nods, his brain still working on rebooting so he can speak. “You look quite handsome Doctor.” 

“You too.” He replies without thinking. “Wait! No, I mean, not handsome, beautiful. Beautiful!” He says again, louder, as if he’d been trying to think of the word to best describe her and he’d stumbled upon it. “Yes! You look so beautiful.”

“Shut up.” She says, a deep red blush appearing on her face. He wonders why she turns red when he calls her beautiful. Surely she’s been called such before. “So, where are we going?” She asks excitedly, slipping her hand into his.

He starts to feel his hand warm up when she takes it and slowly that warmth is spreading through his body and he’s never felt this good when someone is holding his hand and he wants more of it. His body is buzzing from her touch and not for the first time he wonders how she’s doing this to him. Her question is what kicks his brain into gear and he’s no longer bumbling, trying to speak but he’s twirling around the console with her, telling her all about the moon they’re going to be having breakfast on. He watches the smile on her face grow every second he’s talking to her excitedly about their date and he’s only just begun telling her about their lunch plans on Paris, the most romantic planet in the universe, when she grabs him and kisses him. She’s kissing him ravenously, as though she’s been starved of him, and for the life of him he can’t make his brain work again. His body is buzzing and the way her hands are running through his hair and over his chest is making him want to just skip their date and go right to the part where they go into his bedroom. She pulls back but she’s not the one breathless. No, why would she be when she doesn’t even need to breathe anymore. It’s him who is panting for oxygen, trying to replenish all that she stole. But he doesn’t care. He’d gladly give her all the oxygen in his lungs if it meant she’d kiss him like that for all eternity. He must have a silly look on his face because she’s grinning at him like she knows something he doesn’t.

“If only you could see the look on your face.” She says laughing at him. It sounds so joyous and exuberant and he wants to make her feel the same way she’s making him feel, but so much better. He wants to just carry her into his room now and he wonders if she’d let him now. He opens his mouth to voice his question but she already seems to know what he’s about to say. “Date first, then…yes.” Time Lords don’t pout. He knows they don’t. They scowl and glare, but they don’t pout. So when she laughs and tells him the pout on his face is adorable he knows he’s fallen so in love with her that he’s doing things he’s never done before. 

He takes her on their date and he’s the perfect gentleman, pulling out her chair for her, and complimenting her numerous times on how beautiful she looks in her dress. He makes her laugh and it’s his favorite sound in the universe and he doesn’t think he can ever hear it enough, not when he lived without it for so long. But it sounds exactly as how he remembers it and it makes him so happy to be here with her, pulse or no pulse. She’ll never age and he’ll never die so it makes him extremely happy when she whispers in his ear that she loves him for all eternity. He whispers something else in her ear that makes her tear up, brushing her hair away from her face and caressing it with his hand. Her face is so soft and delicate and oh how he wants to hear her calling out his name in a breathy whisper as he makes her feel better than any dream or other man ever could. He wants to be her fairy tale ending; he wants to be her everything because that’s what she is to him. She’s more than anything he’s ever wanted and she’s so perfect because she’s more than everything he needs. And oh how he loves her. He remembers that he’s cracked time and nearly destroyed the universe for her but the way she looks and the way she makes him feel…it’s worth more than every Gallifreyan life. He knows the Universe will be fine so he doesn’t bother with concerning himself over it anymore. He has her and he’s going to make up for lost time. He’s going to make sure she knows the depths of his love for her. Finally their date is over and they’re walking into the Tardis, holding hands and laughing and he can’t for the life of him figure out why he was so nervous. It’s been the most perfect outing he’s ever had and he knows it will only get better with what’s to come. 

“So Doctor, where is this bedroom of yours. I can’t wait to see the place you never sleep in.” She teased.

“I do too sleep in it! What would be the point in having a bedroom if I never used it? That’d be pointless. I’m not like you humans who have a room just for living.” He defends himself just a bit too heavily that it almost sounds like he’s trying too hard to convince her. She just laughs and kisses his cheek, holding his hand a bit tighter. His hearts swell and he leads her through the small maze of corridors to his room. He’s now incredibly nervous because he hasn’t done this for centuries and he wants to do it right but he doesn’t want to admit to her that he may or may not know what he’s doing. He turns the knob and pushes the door open for her, letting her enter in before him.

“Wow…it’s so…beautiful.” She says in awe, looking around at the large room. He has bookshelves along the back wall and a chair with a lamp in the corner of it. There’s an armoire just off to the side of the bed and the bed…it’s carved from wood with Gallifreyan writing engraved into the frame. She floats over to the bed and runs her hand along the writing, entranced by how elegant it all looks together. It’s a king size mattress and the duvet is deep blue with thin gold lines flowing throughout, creating elegant patterns. She turns back to look at him and finds herself met by his ember lit stare. He’s been watching as she takes in the detail of his bed. If she was breathing, in that moment, she knows her breath would have hitched under his intense gaze.

 

 _And I just wanna wrap you up_  
Wanna kiss your lips  
I wanna make you feel wanted  
And I wanna call you mine  
Wanna hold your hand forever  
And never let you forget it  
Yeah, I wanna make you feel wanted  
Baby, I wanna make you feel wanted

 

“Clara Oswald, my Clara Oswald. I’ve dreamed about this one too many times, each time always reprimanding myself because how could you ever love this old face…” He begins to say, taking a long pause at the end. 

“Doctor-” She begins but he cuts her off.

“Let me finish.” She bites her lip to keep from speaking and nods for him to continue.

He walks closer to her and caresses her face with one hand. It seems to be their way of clearly expressing how they feel when words fail. “I told you once that I had to stop seeing myself as your boyfriend but I never could quite listen to myself. So secretly I loved you, thinking that now that your young, dashing man was gone so was your love for him; because humans fall in love with each other when they’re young and vibrant and I’m just an old fool. Still, the dreams happened and I wished I could make you fall in love with me again, the way I had with you. I didn’t try of course because I was too scared of rejection, of losing you. Then I really did lose you and suddenly…I felt dead. I could no longer see any part of the man I once was. Because the truth is Clara, I’m only who I want to be when I’m with you. You’re the one who’s always been beside me and stopped me before I could do anything I would regret. You were always there comforting me, and offering me another way of seeing things. You’re all I’ve ever wanted, you are everything to me Clara, and I want to show you how deep my affections are for you.”

“Oh you daft old man, I’ve always loved you. It never mattered to me that you began to look your age.” There are tears falling from her eyes as she talks, her hands stroking his aged face. She makes the first move and touches their lips together, the spark taking over. Their touches leave a fire burning under the other’s skin. It is slow and passionate but it burns bright. Slowly clothes are removed and where new skin is shown, soft, burning kisses are peppered. It almost feels as though the skin is being branded with each touch of lips or fingers. His jacket, hoodie, and shirt are the first clothes to be removed and as Clara takes off her heels and cardigan, The Doctor scoops her up into his arms and carries her the few feet to the bed before setting her down. She still has her dress on. She turns her back to him and moves her hair away, offering him access to the zipper. Gentle fingers grasp the zipper and as he slowly unzips it, he places a trail of kisses along her shoulders and neck. Clara shrugs the straps off and the dress pools at her feet, leaving her in only her undergarments. She turns around to face him, only a tinge of nervousness in her stomach. She feels as though she is melting under the heat of his gaze as he takes her in. He steps closer, pinning her against the bed and holds the back of her neck as he kisses her slowly, sensually, savoring every last second. As he kisses her she works on his trousers and manages to loosen the belt and unbutton them. He does the rest and with a single tug they fall and he steps out, kicking them off to the side, his lips never leaving hers. One hand holds her waist and she feels her body burn where his hand held. She wonders if her touch does the same to him. With only undergarments left covering them, he picks her up again, this time breaking contact and lays her into the middle of the bed. He climbs up and hovers over her, taking the time to just appreciate her body. 

 

_You'll always be wanted_

  

“I love you Clara Oswald.”

“I love you too Doctor, now…make love to me.” She says softly, reaching up to touch his face. He smiles and takes her hand kissing the palm of it.

What follows is hours of passion and love making as the two finally submit to their feelings for one another and let it mark the start of a new life together. Because one thing that will outlive the universe is the deep love they hold for another.

XxxxXXxxxEndxxxXXxxxX 

**Author's Note:**

> I'd love to hear your thoughts guys!!!


End file.
